Thursday, June 21, 2012


I think it's safe to assume that a colonics post won't have any pictures :)    you're welcome!

So colonics, well that was an experience. I thought Husband would have a much harder time with the process, seeing as a giant tube was being put up his butt by an unknown woman, but it was me that had a panic attack and started crying to the girl. But I am an easy crier, so don't let that dissuade you from doing colonics.

My reasoning for doing colonics was that my raw way of eating was leaving my stool a bit soft, seeing as there was no hardening foods in my diet like grains and legumes. I thought that there was bound to be a lot of leftover gunk in there and that colonics would be a great way to get it out. Suffering from Crohn's disease, this is to be a bit expected, but the constant bloating and gas is starting to get very old very fast.

Husbands reasoning for doing this was health improvement as well, but mostly to lose a few pounds for his competition saturday.

When I planted the colonics seed in his head I said that they only put a tiny tube up your butt, and that you are able to put it in yourself :) haahahaha, boy was I wrong. Apparently Husband stopped talking mid sentence when the nurse pulled out the thing that goes in your butt.

We spend 45 minutes driving in Toronto traffic to get to our appointment in the beaches and I was extremely irritable because we weren't able to eat for 2 hours beforehand. My only need is food, if you take that away I become the whiniest and most annoying companion...ever-> Ask husband. Anyhow, we got to the center, it was very clean and calming. Our waivers were ready and waiting for us. All of a sudden I felt like I had to go to the washroom and felt super gasy. I just kept thinking that whoever does my colonic is going to hate me for having so much crap up my butt. Husband seemed super calm, I was jealous.

We both meet our lovely nurses, who are also fully certified nutritionists. We go into separate rooms and I noticed some tubes, a bed with a mirror on top with a towel and pee pad on it. Great, now I'm following in my dogs footsteps.  The nurse tells me to get into my birthday suit and get under the towel. I do and she comes back and starts giving me an abdominal massage. This would feel really good if I didn't also see the anal tube and start to freak out, mostly because I thought Husband was going to kill me because that thing was so huge. Skip over the insertion part and then water starts flowing in. It's a very confusing feeling for your body. I felt very out of control of the situation and started to panic. The nurse was amazing and tried to keep me distracted by my blog recipes, and recipe ideas,  but I just wanted to breathe and focus on the mirror. Lots of little pieces were flowing out of the tube. The nurse said these were pieces in your colon that were getting chipped away, which was a good sign. But I didn't have any "HOLY SHIT" moments until 30 minutes into it. You know that feeling where you get goosebumps and feel like you really need to be near a toilet? That's how I felt, but with a tube up my butt and a nurse holding it. I freaked out and wanted it out, and she told me to relax and that it would pass. All of a sudden you see a whirlwind of gas and poop in the tube and you suddenly feel better, only to start again 30 seconds later. And that continued. Once I learnt what to expect and what I would feel, the experience was much less horrifying. The whole process takes about 1 hour.

They take the tube out, and then you go to the washroom and have the most explosive watery diarrhea ever.You put your feet up on a stool while you do this, it's supposed to be the best position to go to the washroom. Once everything comes out you start to feel pretty good, and I'm sure you're just running on adrenaline because you're body is wondering what the heck you just did to it.

I exit the room and see Husband smiling and he says, "I feel amazing! I feel so empty! Let's book for another one." I just look at him, feeling nauseous, violated, tired, dizzy and stressed, and say, " I'll think about it in a few days."

The nurse gives us probiotics, tells us things not to eat (spicy foods, or any foods that make you gassy), and says have a good night.

I thought the whole ride home that stuff would leak out of my butt, but it didn't. High five to that. I came home and ate some brown rice noodles with pesto. The nurse told me to eat more solid food for this meal, so that was the best I could do.

After the process, both Husband and I started feeling soooooo tired and soooooo thirsty. A sign of detoxing, and that we lost a lot of water through our colon.

All in all I lost 2 lbs, Husband gained two ( ?), and I probably won't do that again. Everyone should atleast try it, I mean, Husband loved it! I just can't be in situations like that where I don't have control.
I freaked out while snorkeling, so that goes to show.

If anyone has any questions please feel free to shoot me a comment!

1 comment:

  1. Holy sheet!! Excuse my french but this look so scary! On the 3 of July i am getting something like that done to my butt , and i am a little nervous.But you and Greg survive this Colonics so i should be ok !!! P.S I love reading your blog, never stop because you are so good at it!! Well have a happy butt day :) Helen :)